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Photo by Zach Vessels on Unsplash

​How much longer are you going to blame your parents?

Nobody has perfect parents. Many parents are abusive to their children emotionally, physically and many other ways. Abuse can be healed with time, but often leaves an indelible imprint which cannot be washed away. This is not acceptable. I am not condoning it.

And yet, I believe that parents who pass on trauma to their children are themselves processing trauma. Hurt people hurt people.

In that way, they are doing the best they can, even if they are doing a horrible job. Raising children is hard enough and even harder when you were never raised properly yourself.

Still, no matter what type of experience you had growing up, once you become an adult, your evolution is your own responsibility. Even as you acknowledge some of the areas where you may have been hurt or restricted as a young person, even as you reflect on how your past has gotten you to this point, you can affirm your new strength as an adult in full control of your direction.

This may not be easy to come to terms with because you’ve been affected deeply, but know this: where you end up is not your parents’ responsibility.

Although they set your trajectory early, you are the pilot for the majority of your life.

Where you land is dependent on your own decisions and ultimately, the degree to which you are willing to face yourself truthfully. ​

I guess the real question is, once you accept that you are fully responsible for you life, how do you move on from the pain of the past?

Hell if I know.

That’s the journey.

More of my philosophy on business and life can be read on my regularly irregular newsletter.

Family, business, writing, jiu jitsu and psychedelics. Not always in that order. For cool people:

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